MEMORIAL DAY PARADE

     Let me begin this blog by first saying that it is not my intent to complain is any way whatsoever about my previous church employer. I am only sharing with you what Memorial Day meant to me from birth to 2013 and what it means to me now. I will be sharing about my experience building a parade float as well as challenges I had with that along the way. Enjoy this as you read it and thank you all for your positive feedback!

     From the days I was a kid until maybe 1990, Memorial Day meant nothing for me. It was a day off from school always on a Monday and we had a 3 day weekend. I was in a few parades when I was young once as a cub scout, one time with my Junior High school stage band and twice with the Smithtown High School West Marching band. I played the alto saxophone. However, when I accepted the position as the children's pastor at Smithtown Gospel, I was "encouraged" to promote our children's ministry by having a float in the parade. It all began in 1991 and in all honesty, that was my easiest year. Someone told me about a friend who had a boat that we could borrow. He even offered to pull this boat with his pickup truck. I borrowed some animal costumes and bible outfits from the Sunday School department and presto! We had Noah's Ark! My first thought after that parade was "Wow! This will be easy." Boy was I wrong. What happened in the next 5 years or so was a challenge! All I can say was it was a learning experience! My challenges were getting a trailer, getting people to volunteer to help paint and build the float, making sure we had a generator and a sound system that worked and finding the time to make this happen. Let's just say from 1992 - 2013 my month of May was absolutely crazy. I will say that it was fun being creative and developing these floats. In the beginning we used air lyte panels, thick cardboard and we built our floats to promote our summer King's Kids Club. Later on we used plywood. We built Bible time machines, a Train, a Western Town, a lifeguard tower and a VeggieTales theme just to name a few. By the late 1990's, I will admit we had a well running oiled machine. We had the Royal Rangers and Missionettes march behind the float along with the Smithtown Christian School Cheerleaders. Our Kids in Missions students would hand out pencils to kids along the parade route to promote our summer ministries. To be completely honest, what did bother me was the lack of interest from our leadership of our church. I knew I was doing this for the Lord but there were very few church leaders at the parade to see our hard work. I also had very little time with my family. I was so caught up with getting things ready that I couldn't even enjoy my kids being in the parade. They did help me paint and they did work the puppets inside the float while music was playing, but I couldn't enjoy it. I even remember one of our youth pastors riding his bike to the parade with all his kids. I was longing to enjoy that and was frustrated that the responsibility of the parade was solely on me. In truth, I was burning out!
     Don't get me wrong! It was great advertising but my Saturday before Memorial Day and the actual Memorial Day was consumed with this parade. I was supposed to have a day off and often worked the entire Memorial Day. The parade was not even one mile long. While walking down Main street in Smithtown during the parade I would look up and see we were almost at Town Hall where the parade ended. It was quick! I will admit my proudest moment was when the float passed by the platform filled with dignitaries and they would announce our church float by saying "Smithtown Gospel Tabernacle Children's Ministries." Then after all of the kids were picked up by their parents at the end of the parade, it was time to take the float apart. Sometimes we only had a handful of people to help as well as making sure the areas we painted were also clean. My Memorial Day was not spent enjoying a barbecue or a party. I was exhausted.
     This parade was not run by our town but by the Knights of Columbus. We were the only float in the entire parade...no joke. As much as this organization wanted us in the parade, there were some who did not want us in the parade. Their main complaint was about our music. "It's too loud!" Ok, I though well so is the Hauppauge High School Marching Band! I also knew it was NOT the "loud music" that bothered them but the message in the music. One of my workers, Eric gave me a great idea. "Why not play Patriotic Music?" We mixed in our Christian Music with "God Bless America", "The Battle Hymn Republic" and "The National Anthem." Each year we were pushed towards the back of the parade. I wrote "Nice encouraging letters to these men and offered to help them organize it. It was a very disorganized parade. They refused any help whatsoever.
     The final straw for me came around 2005 or so. The church decided to move their Missions Convention from March to the middle of May. I always enjoyed creating events for the kids during the Missions Convention but this meant I would have to do two major events in a row. I spoke out my displeasure about this decision but was told "But you are so good with the kids and you do such a great job with the parade." I knew I was burning out and even after crying out for help it went nowhere. 8 years later was when I was asked to resign. Ironically on the night I was being voted out what was I doing? Painting a float for a parade. That year I didn't care if we drove down with 8 sheets of unpainted plywood with some holes for puppets. I will never forget my last parade. I even told a member of the Knights of Columbus it was my last parade. He thanked me for my hard work. That meant a lot to me!
     In 2014 a year after I left SGT I will never forget sitting in the front of a Wal-Mart waiting for my Father in-law who asked me to wait so he could buy flowers to plant. I sat their thinking that it was my first Memorial Day I had free in 24 years. It was weird! I started to think "What is Memorial Day really about? It's not about building a float for a parade that is less than one mile. It's not about painting a float, constructing it and praying we have no rain. It IS about honoring the men and women through the years who have lost their lives serving our country. It could be with the Army, Navy, Marines, Air Force or Coast Guard. Forget about athletes, actors or actresses. Our real heroes are the men and women who have faithfully served our country. Today, Memorial Day for me is honoring all those who served our country, fought for our freedom and gave their lives so that we can be free.
     Looking back, I am very proud of what we accomplished through the years at our parade. I am proud of our floats and proud of how we were a "Light in the darkness." I am also proud to be an American and want to one day thank our servicemen and servicewomen for serving our country and giving of their lives!      
                        

WHAT I HAVE LEARNED WORKING AT CHICK FIL A

     I'm not going to repeat my story of how I was hired at Chick Fil-A 3 1/2 years ago. It definitely was a door God opened for me and I appreciate the opportunities I have had to grow not only as an employee but as a person. Chick Fil-A is not just your average fast food restaurant with that crabby person behind the counter rolling their eyes at you. That will NEVER happen at Chick Fil-A. When we were trained two weeks before our opening in Port Jefferson, our trainers emphasized something they called the "Core Four." Chick Fil-A believes each "guest" needs to have an amazing experience each time they walk into any CFA restaurant. They want people to feel welcome and enjoy their stay while they are enjoying great food. So what is the "Core Four?" Its simple. Share a smile, listen attentively, speak enthusiastically and have good eye contact. In my 3 1/2 years with Chick Fil-A, I can honestly tell you it does work. I will never forget when our Owner/ Operator at Port Jefferson Stan met with all the new employees for the first time and said "We want to bring southern hospitality to New York." My reaction was "Good luck with that one!" What I have seen is that New Yorkers want to be treated nicely even though some of them will not return the favor if you catch my drift. Let me share with you the Chick Fil-A "Core Four" and how we can use it in every day life or life application.

 

SHARE A SMILE - Who doesn't love to be smiled at? What I have noticed being at the register or serving in the Dining Room is that guests are more prone to treat you nicer if you smile at them. They really want some sunshine in their lives. Just recently a guest shared with me the difficulties they were facing. They were bringing food to a friend who was in the hospital. They said they love coming to CFA because everyone is so friendly and pleasant. Sharing a smile with someone means a lot to them. I love the challenge of getting the grumpiest person, smiling at them, trying to get them to laugh and giving them a great CFA experience. Sometimes it works but most of the time it does!

LIFE APPLICATION - I have learned to smile at people even when at times I really don't feel like it. Sharing a smile goes a long way! 

 

LISTEN ATTENTIVELY - This was a hard lesson for me to learn. When I was a manager I received many complaints. Some were legit but some were ridiculous. one was "I asked for 6 Chick Fil-A sauces and I only got 5. Can I have a free sandwich?" I found myself getting defensive until I realized people just need to vent. They just want to be heard. Yes, some of the complaints are crazy and yes, believe it or not there are a few rude people in New York! There are times we need to keep quiet and listen to people. It makes a difference!

 LIFE APPLICATION - I have learned to listen before I speak. I have been told I am a great listener and have had some friends call me and ask if they could meet with me. All they really want is not so much my advice, but to be heard and have someone listen to them. Listening is sometimes more important than speaking. Let's learn to listen!

 

SPEAK ENTHUSIASTICALLY -  I have never met anyone who goes into a restaurant, a store and a bank who enjoys having someone speak to them rudely. That is not good customer service. CFA wants us to be enthusiastic when it comes to any position we are working. The key is a great guest experience. If you are on headset, give the guest an amazing greeting to let them know we are so happy to have them there. The same goes for when you are at the front counter. I will never forget when we first opened in Port Jefferson and a trainer was on the register. A guest started yelling about their order very rudely. The trainer just smiled and was very nice to the guest. I said to him "Wow! He was rude! I can't believe you didn't tell him off!" His answer was "That's not the Chick Fil-A way. You need to be enthusiastic." People want to be treated nicely and appreciate that kind of environment. We all want to be in a happy environment. Who likes it when you go to any fast food place and you are ignored?

LIFE APPLICATION - I have learned to be enthusiastic even when I seriously do not feel like it. I could be tired or having a bad day, but I have been trying so hard to be enthusiastic with my speech but also my attitude. The Bible tells us that the joy of the Lord is our strength in Psalm 28:7. Even when you feel your enthusiasm is gone, I find myself looking for any avenue to be enthusiastic knowing my God gives me such joy, especially knowing Him. 

 

GOOD EYE CONTACT - When we were being trained, we were told you need to have great eye contact. Make sure you are directly at the person so they know you are fully engaged and not distracted. They want to order their food, receive it hot and get out. Giving good eye contact means you are listening and hearing them. I can't tell you how many times I have been to other places where the order was totally messed up because the workers were distracted and not listening to me. CFA emphasizes looking directly at people so they know you want to get their order right...period!

LIFE APPLICATION - When I am in conversation with people, I try very hard to give good eye contact. It shows that I care about them. Years ago when I was very shy, I had a hard time with this. Today, I can see the importance of this not only at work, but wherever I am.

 

HAVE A BLESSED WEEK! UNTIL NEXT TIME! 

    

 

 

SOCIAL MEDIA

Social media!! What did we do without it back in the day? Do you remember actually talking to someone without sending a text? Or how about calling up someone on a house phone without that "Caller ID?" Don't get me wrong, I do like social media. it is fun and it's so cool to connect with old friends, but let me share with you some of the downfalls!

     I will never forget when a website called "My Space" came out. Many people signed up and developed their "Page." I honestly had no interest. It was a fad for a season and quickly dwindled. I heard many of the kids in our youth group talking about it. It was almost as if email was becoming a thing of the past and social media was becoming the "thing." Then websites such as Facebook and Twitter began to become popular. Again, I was not into any of those sites and thought they were meant for the younger generation. Then it happened. After calling my brother on his birthday in September 2008, he told me about Facebook and how cool it is. He said you get to connect with so many people, post pictures etc. He told me he was having so much fun with it and that I should give it a shot. That night I signed up. My first "friend" was my brother Mike. Then all of a sudden so many people started asking me to be their "friend." Before you knew it I was posting pictures, getting reacquainted with old college friends and enjoying my first experience of social media. I have been on Facebook for 10 1/2 years now and I have 916 "friends."

     Having been on Facebook and now Instagram, I have noticed a few things that bother me about social media.

1. YOU BEGIN TO COMPARE YOURSELF WITH OTHERS!

 I sometimes find myself looking at other peoples profiles and wondering "They bought a new car. They have a new house. Why can't I have that?" I have learned that we cannot compare ourselves to others and we need to give thanks to God for what we do have and what he has blessed us with!

    2.  IT CONSUMES A LOT OF TIME!

 I have found myself looking at my Facebook page and telling myself "It will only be for a few minutes. A few minutes becomes 15, 20, 25 and sometimes 30 minutes!! Yes, Facebook can be fun, but it can also take you away from things that are important like spending time with family and friends and getting tasks done that need to get done1

     3. EVEN THOUGH YOU MIGHT HAVE 916 FRIENDS, YOU DON'T EXACTLY KNOW ALL 916!

Yes, 916 friends is impressive I know, but I DO NOT know everyone! That would be impossible. through the years I have "unfriended" people and people have "unfriended" me but in reality I am happy to connect with old college buddies but I do so appreciate the people I do have "real" interaction with every single day!

To end on a positive note, it has been fun watching families grow, hearing about upcoming weddings, kids graduating and answers to prayer. I hope after reading this you will learn to appreciate social media and will use it wisely!

UNTIL NEXT TIME!!   

PEOPLE WHO HAVE INSPIRED ME: MY MOM

      It's been a while since I have written about people who have inspired me. With Mother's Day coming this coming Sunday, how could I not write about my own amazing Mom! She has definitely inspired me and been there for me through thick and thin!

     My Mom is 100% Italian! The oldest of three kids. She grew up in Hoboken, NJ and met my Dad at Erskine Lake in Ringwood, NJ where both of their families had summer homes. My parents married in 1958 and for the first15 years they lived in NJ. They were blessed (well, I think they were) with 3 children...My Sister Paula, myself and my brother Mike. We were first raised Catholic and my Mom instilled in us the importance of attending church. She also, along with my Dad showed us the importance of family and always getting along as well as always working things out. To this day, we are all still close in spite of me being the lone New York survivor. My family all reside in PA. Maybe one day I will be able to say the same thing.

     As a shy, insecure kid, I can say that my Mom was always there for me. On those nights when I couldn't sleep or was worried about something a school, my Mom would always sit and listen to me and always tell me "Everything is going to be alright." She always made the time for me! In 1973, our family moved to Long Island from Chatham, NJ. My siblings and I were not happy but we did had to move! My Dad worked at RCA in NJ and got a new job in Hicksville, NY. It was a season of adjusting for all of us. What always impressed me about my Mom was how she always remained positive. When I was in 6th grade and ironically on April Fools Day, my Dad came home and told us he was laid off from his job. My Mom thought it was a joke but it was true. For quite some time we lived off of my Mom's Part Time salary as a secretary as well as my Dad's unemployment check. Again it was another rough season and I'm sure there were times my Mom wanted to "throw in the towel." She never quit! My Dad did get a job back in NJ and we were looking to move back to the Garden State but God had other plans. My Dad absolutely hated his new job and the Lord supplied a great job for him on Long Island! Because of those challenging months my Dad was unemployed, my Mom discovered a personal relationship with Jesus Christ as our neighbor brought her to a Catholic/ Charismatic prayer meeting. Her life was changed and right before my eyes I witnessed her growth in the Lord. This lead to the rest of our family accepting Jesus into our hearts. My Mom lead me to the Lord on December 6, 1977!

     During my teenage and young adult years, my greatest memory of my Mom was our late night talks. I get my creative gift from my Mom but I also got her "night owl" gift. We used to sit up and talk for hours! After I had a date, after I worked a second job or after a church event, we used to talk. My Mom allowed me to share my dreams, my goals and I ran many of my ideas by her! I was hired by Smithtown Gospel Tabernacle as their Children's Pastor in 1991 and many of you might not know this but for the first 7 years of my ministry, my secretary was my Mom! It was a good thing too because she was the only person on this planet who could read my handwriting. The pastors didn't have computers s everything I wrote was on legal pad. My Mom typed many of my crazy idea puppet skits! In 1992, our family went through another rough season as my Dad was diagnosed with colon cancer. We were all devastated but we trusted God. My Mom was truly the glue that held us together. One thing that did make us happy was that my Dad was able to experience being a Grandfather four times. I will have to say that during that season my Mom stayed close to the Lord. The Lord took my Father home on June 18, 1995...Father's Day. The strongest person at the funeral was not yours truly, it was my Mom!

    1998 my Mom told me she was selling our home and moving to PA. I was devastated but I understood. She purchased a condo she still lives in and lives close to my brother, my sister and their families. I do look forward to visiting her in spite of the wonderful New York traffic! Let me fast forward 15 years later to 2013. I will have to say that on my traumatic season of resigning from Smithtown Gospel Tabernacle, the one person who stood by me through thick and thin was my Mom. I called my Mom at all hours. When I felt depressed I called her. When I felt alone I called her. My Mom never ever said to me "Leave me alone" or "Now what!" She always listened to me and she still does. The main things she always told me was "Stay close to the Lord, Dave" and "God is going to use this, you will see."  

Mom, thank you so much for always being there for me. You have always inspired me and I am forever grateful for you! HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!