REMEMBERING ART DEFORD A.KA. "MR. DEFORD"

 

     For the past five months I have experienced loss of dear friends and loved ones. Among those are my second Mom, my aunt and lately a man who was like a big brother to me....Art DeFord. Growing up at Smithtown Gospel Tabernacle I always knew who Art was and I was friends with his sister Janine and played softball with his brother Bobby. I also knew his sister Mary Anne from church as well. It wasn't until 1987 that I really got to know Art. How we met was a little awkward. Let me explain. 

     I was asked at that time by Ann DiSanza to take over the puppet ministry at the church. Ann was asked to become the Sunday School Superintendent and she felt although I was very young at the ripe age of 23, she felt I was ready to lead this ministry. There was one person who was willing to help me out. Art DeFord! At that time Art was 35 years old and I'm sure it was hard for him to take instruction from this "kid" but I will say we did work well together and "balanced each other out." Art was very "Old School" while I was a young guy trying to do new things in a church that was very "Old School." It made for some fun stories but mostly a lot of learning. Eventually we recruited Jan to help us out and then Jason. The 4 of us were a great team and we did mostly rod arm puppets and in front of the stage Art used "Skippy" a monkey puppet while I used "Barney Bagel" a hideous looking character. It was a start! In the beginning the puppets we used were very atrocious! All hand made. I even got some from my college and they did the job but were not very attractive to say the least. I took advantage of a Puppet Productions 50% sale that took place in January and I was able to purchase some decent looking puppets in the coming years. Before you knew it not only did we minister at our church, but God opened doors for us to share at other churches. I named the ministry "The Good News Gospel Theater." We brought our ugly puppets and ugly stage to churches but regardless of that we all had a zeal to serve Jesus and see kids come to know Him as their savior. It was a humble start! For a few years we were doing kids ministry at our church as well as other churches. God opened doors for us to go to local churches which included a Korean church, 3 Village Church and Lambs Chapel. It was a very humble start!

     After serving with me in the puppet ministry, Art decided he wanted to attend Bible school so he enrolled at Christ for the Nations in Stony Brook, NY. After a while our team was depleting. We did gain a lady by the name of Debbie but soon after Jan got married and Jason wanted to serve in our ministries. At that point I took that ministry in a different direction. I was hired by Smithtown as the Children's Pastor, something I always wanted! When I decided to begin a ministry to our Preteens - 5th & 6th graders, Art gladly volunteered along with my friend Dan Murphy. They started a Children's church class that was so effective and they even had a mini revival one Sunday! The Preteen ministry became a huge blessing in our church and we had special events for these kids which included a "Lock In." You guessed it! Art was there to serve! In 1996, when I decided to create a missions class for kids that we originally called "Kids Mission Bridge", Art was there to help me launch that ministry! Let's just say he was my "Right Hand Man" whenever I launched something new in the church. I will always be grateful to him for that. I always had the habit of calling him "Mr. DeFord" and rarely called him "Art!" One funny thing I do remember about Kids Mission Bridge is I ordered black polo shirts for the workers to wear. Let's just say they were not popular to wear in the heat and Art let me know he was not a big fan of them! When I changed the name of the ministry and the curriculum to "Kids in Missions" I made sure we had red polos!

     As the years went by Art and I stayed in touch. Whenever Art saw me, he would always call me "Your Eminence!" Typical Art DeFord humor! Every once in a while we would meet for breakfast and a few times we played 9 holes of golf at Sunken Meadow State Park. After I left Smithtown I had some special worker reunions at the Airport Diner that he attended. We always laughed about the crazy stuff we did "back in the day!" Art suffered a massive heart attack and by the grace of God he survived which I believe was in 2019! In December of 2022 I messaged many of my friends when I was looking  for a place to live. Of course, my dear friend responded. The last time I saw him was December 22, 2022 at his house. He and his wife were leaving to go to Australia to visit his son Jason, daughter in law Myra and their two kids a few days after that. Art told me if I could not find a place to live, I could temporarily stay at his home. At that point God had already blessed me with a new place to live. I did not realize at the time that visit with Art would be my last time to see my dear friend, my big brother! While in Australia, Art had a massive heart attack on January 11th. At his funeral 2 1/2 weeks later he would be honored by his family, friends and members of his church. He will be missed but we all know he is rejoicing in heaven around the throne worshipping his Lord and savior! Rest in peace "Mr. DeFord!"       

LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT MY AMAZING AUNT BEA

     Let me tell you about my amazing Aunt Bea! For those of you who are "Andy Griffith Show fans I am not referring to Andy's Aunt on the show with the gray hair and bun. I am referring to one of my favorite relatives. I know it is not very nice to have a favorite relative and of course my immediate family and my kids will always be "A Number One" in my book. I am referring to outside of my family. My Aunt Bea Guzzi. She was my Mom's younger sister and the Good Lord took her home to be with Him in heaven on December 14, 2022. My Aunt has an amazing story and has lead an amazing life. She will definitely be missed but her legacy on earth will be always remembered. You see, my Aunt lost her sight in 1967. She was married for 3 years and was 23 years old. Let me share with you my memories of my amazing Aunt!

     Growing up in Chatham, NJ I have fond memories of my Aunt Bea and Uncle Jim. They lived in the same town in an apartment that overlooked Main Street in Chatham. I still remember walking up the staircase to their apartment that had chocolate colored painted walls in the hallway. Their apartment had a kitchen, dining room/den, a living room and bedroom and a bathroom. It was small but then again it was for 2 people. I remember walking into her apartment and she would always say "Come over here and kiss your Aunt Bea!" I would also take out her garbage which would become a common thing when I visited and a family joke! In all the years I have known my Aunt I actually never thought of her as being blind. As crazy as this sounds she would actually babysit my brother Mike and I and was quite good at it. One memory I always cherish is after her firstborn Jay was born, my family was invited over to meet our new cousin. I still remember walking into Aunt Bea's room and saw her holding her newborn and telling my brother and I, "Come over here David and Michael and come meet your new cousin." Two years later they would welcome their second child, Glen. Mike and I have great memories of playing with our little cousins especially over our house on North Hillside Ave. In 1973 my family moved away from Chatham, NJ  to Smithtown, NY when I was 9. Moving away was very hard for me but the thought of leaving my friends and family was rough. I believe it was a year after we moved that my Aunt Bea & Uncle Jim purchased their first home in Chatham, NJ. This meant we could come visit and you bet we did! In fact as kids whenever we left Aunt Bea's house (sorry Uncle Jim! As kids that's what we called your home) we spent 2 hours in the car crying because we hated leaving Chatham! My Dad took a stand against our trips back then and they became less frequent. I think my Dad did that so that my brother, sister and I could adjust to our new lives in Smithtown and not think so much about Chatham. As a child I hated that decision but as an adult almost 50 years later I understand. 

     I always had fond memories of my Aunt and her family whenever they visited us on Long Island and when we visited them as well through the years. The visits to Long Island were not as frequent since my Uncle Jim owned a Getty Service Station and had to find coverage if he and his family were to visit. At one point around 1976 my father was laid off from his job and we had plans of moving back to NJ which meant we would live closer to Aunt Bea, Uncle Jim and their family. God had other plans as He shut that door and my father eventually found employment on Long Island at Frequency Electronics. Our family was always close to Aunt Bea. I would have to say besides my Mom, my Aunt Bea was a woman of faith and a prayer warrior. When she said she was praying for you she meant it! She loved her family and she was the Mom to 6 kids! Aunt Bea never allowed her disability to affect her one bit. She was a fighter, a tough lady and no one could ever tell her "No, you can't do that!" She would prove them wrong always! Not only did she write a book which she in fact typed herself called "I walk by faith, not by sight" that was published in 2019, she also had a job working for AAA as a customer service rep to help support her family. My Aunt was an amazing housewife and her house was always spotless. I was always amazed looking in her pantry that all her canned goods were in braille. The other thing that amazed me about my Aunt was that whenever she spoke to you she would always look at you even though she could not see you. She was and is a remarkable lady!

     After I graduated high school I went to Northeastern Bible College in Essex Fells, NJ. My college was maybe a 20 minute drive to my aunts house so on occasion during my freshman year, my Uncle Jim would picked me up and I stayed overnight to spend time with my Aunt, Uncle and my cousins. As the years went by and school got harder and busier I had less time. From my college years, my ministry years, my married years and my post SGT years, I did not get to see Aunt Bea a whole lot. Life was busy and my responsibilities grew. I was able to attend  4 weddings of my cousins and special "get together's." My Grandparents funerals did not count in that "special" category but it was always great to see my "New Jersey" Family! In the picture above, that photo was taken on Sunday, August 10, 1997 when I was ordained for ministry at my church. Aunt Bea and Uncle always made it a point to show their support!

      When I was driving a limo as one of my many jobs, I had one run for about a month where I picked up a woman at her home in Island Park, NY and drove her to Morristown, NJ to her company. One day I had a long layover between jobs so I called Aunt Bea and asked if  could hang out at their house between jobs. Of course she said "yes" and I enjoyed a few hours relaxing at their kitchen table taking and drinking coffee. As we were talking I couldn't help but think how every time I spoke to my Aunt & Uncle it feel like all we did was just continue our last conversation. For the last 10 years of her life I did not see a whole lot of my Aunt due to the fact I was working so much. On occasion when I was at my Mom's I would talk to her on the phone and say "Hello," Very rarely did she ever call me "Dave" it was mostly "David."

     I am going to miss Aunt Bea! For several years she battled illness! The last time I saw her, it was November 25, 2022. She was laying in bed and the family was told she did not have much time to live. We all gathered around her bed to pray for her and I know that meant a lot to her. My heart breaks for my 6 cousins Jay, Glen, Mark, Steven, Gayle and Jean along with Aunt Bea's 11 grandchildren. My heart also breaks for my Uncle Jim who I know is hurting. They were inseparable and she was the love of his life. My heart also breaks for my Mom as well. I do know one thing! The very first person Aunt Bea got to see was her Lord and savior Jesus Christ. There is no doubt in my mind! 

     Rest in Peace, Aunt Bea! We all know you are worshiping your Lord and having a great time in heaven!! 

 

HAVE A BLESSED DAY EVERYONE!!!