CONFIDENCE

     Confidence! It's always a challenge for all of us. To some of us it comes easy. To others it's a ongoing battle. We all have that one thing we have confidence in doing. It could be a job, a sport, a hobby or just confidence that everything is going to be okay. In this brief blog this week, let me share with you my battles as well as my victories!

     Growing up I had a huge battle with confidence. I had a very bad self image of myself. Struggling in school was always what did it for me. Being very shy and quiet was also my battle. I am still amazed that God called me into full time ministry where I had to talk. I didn't say a whole lot in elementary, middle and high school. I guess you can say I saved all my talking for 22 + years in children's ministry. Now I make dummies talk! (Don't tell Grandpa Lou I called him a dummy!) I will never forget the first time I was ever asked to speak. It was at my church in August 1982 on a Wednesday evening. Our Senior Pastor asked myself and another bible college student to be Paul to speak on consecutive weeks. I did prepare well and to keep my mind off the frightening moment when I was to speak I accepted an invitation to go water skiing with some friends. The one and only time I ever tried that! I really thought I was confident in my speaking abilities and when Pastor Forseth introduced me to the small congregation I remember walking up to the pulpit then turning around. To say I had major fear was an understatement! I don't remember a word I said. I remember shaking! A lot! I also remember looking at one particular man sitting in the middle of the church. He kept smiling at me. I thought maybe his smile was him saying "Boy, this guy really stinks. I hope his education at bible college helps him!" Instead, at the end of the service he told me "That was great." I was ready to quit truthfully. Maybe God would rather have me as a plumber than as a pastor. Through the years my confidence grew. When I was thrust into children's ministry and started doing puppet ministry I realized that the only way I could ever gain confidence is by going up in front of kids and adults. All I can say is in my many years of doing kids ministry my confidence has grown. I never use notes when I speak to kids but when I do speak to adults, YES, I do use my notes!

     I lost a lot of confidence 7 1/2 years ago when I resigned from my children's pastor position. I had to try my best to gain confidence when I drove a limo, sold lawn care door to door for TruGreen and became a manager at Chick Fil-A. It was a battle. I was put in some uncomfortable situations! Trying to deal with impatient passengers in a limo, customers who were not satisfied with how their lawn looked or guests at Chick Fil-A who were angry they got 11 nuggets instead of 12 and the bagger gave them 4 CFA sauces instead of 5 (Sawwssess is how New Yorkers say it). I have relied on my favorite verse in the entire bible which is found in Philippians 4:13 which says "I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me." As I pastored children, drove a limo, worked at TruGreen and now work at Chick Fil-A & Home Depot, I know without a shadow of a doubt that my confidence is in my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. I pray you find confidence in Him as well!           

 

 

KIDS IN MISSIONS... 25 YEARS PART FOUR (2008 - 2013)

 

     To be brutally honest, I was not looking forward to writing this blog, But if you know me, I always want to finish anything that I start. 2008 through 2013 were very challenging years for me at Smithtown Gospel Tabernacle. When I look back, I think about how my marriage failed but also how much I was burning out. It seems that when you have a gift and talent and the leadership of your church knows it, they expect you to do a lot! Even when I approached the leadership about my burnout, it was taken very lightly. I do want to say that it is not my intent to bash the leadership of my previous church or my ex wife. What took place in my life in 2013 and my "resignation" is over with and done. I don't hold any grudges and it's my desire to move on. What I went through in 2013 was horrible but it was 8 years ago. I have grown from it and I have learned a lot about myself! My biggest frustration from it all is how it affected my 4 kids and what they had to endure. I hope someday to be able to sit down with my two eldest kids to be able to work things out. I believe that day will come real soon!

     Truthfully my last 5 years of Kids in Missions is a blur. In 2008 I had already been the children's pastor at SGT for 17 years, I was getting bored. I wanted a new challenge. I would have loved it if an outside church would have tried to entice me away from SGT. My family was not keen on that idea so I tried to make changes within the entire ministry, including Kids in Missions. I even had a meeting at a local Diner with my leadership team to discuss giving our kids ministry a new name and a new logo. I'll never forget the very first comment I heard after I shared my heart with my team. One leader said "But I already like how things are going in our ministry. Why should we change it?" It was a challenge to say the least! One highlight I had during our last 5 years was a week long mission trip to Friend, Nebraska in 2011 & 2012 to help a church there run a week long Vacation Bible School. All I can say is that while I was there for the first time in 2011, I felt a peace. I enjoyed so much going for walks and seeing the cornfields all around. It was so peaceful. It was there that I heard God speak to me. He said, "Dave,  have something big for you to do." There was no doubt I heard His voice. I honestly thought God was moving me to a different church or perhaps a different position like the Young Adults Pastor. Maybe the Missions Pastor down the road? None of these ideas were true. I shared this with a few pastors only to hear them say "But Dave, your a great children's pastor. That's your calling" Although I heard His voice, I have patiently been waiting almost 10 years to find out what it is.

     Kids in Missions came to an abrupt halt in 2013. Our very last outreach was at the Lighthouse Mission on March 2, 2013. My youngest son Tyler was with me along with 11 other students. I didn't know then that it would be our last one. My hope was always that once I left SGT, another church would hire me right away and I would be able to continue doing this program. That never happened. I did serve briefly at a church in Holbrook 4 years later but the kids were much too young to start the Kids in Missions program. When I look back I am proud that God gave me this great concept. I am not sure if any of you have ever heard of the phrase "it jumped the shark." It refers to when a television show is no longer interesting. It came from the show Happy Days when Fonzie did a water ski stunt and jumped over a shark tank. Many people felt that the show Happy Days was on it's way out. I was beginning to feel this way about Kids in Missions. I was hoping we could breathe new life into it. The old saying is always "All good things must come to an end." Kids in Missions didn't continue at SGT after I left. I would have gladly sold copies of my manuals to the new children's pastor but I guess it wasn't his thing. So life goes on and now I look to what God has in store for me next. I think He is directing me to write some books. Stay tuned!!            

KIDS IN MISSIONS....25 YEARS!!! PART THREE (2003 - 2008)

     It has been great reminiscing about Kids in Missions and it has brought back many great memories. I am very humbled that God gave me this concept and feel grateful I had the energy and stamina to bring all these kids with me on the outreaches we were blessed to do. From 2003 to 2008 it was a great season for this ministry. God opened a door for us to go to Toccoa, Georgia in August of that year. It would become a new challenge for me. Typically we would go to churches and do children's ministry. On this trip we did something I had never done before. We went into public schools! We partnered with Grace Fellowship Church of Toccoa and we had open doors to go into the local high school as well as after school programs. Going into public schools meant we were not allowed to preach the gospel so we did an anti-drug program. One of my ventriloquist figures the students loved was Cry Baby. (Cry Baby was retired after I left SGT because of many complaints.) It was a very busy week and we actually had to tell our host church there was way too much on our plate. We needed a break! We came home with a new excitement even though we almost didn't go to Toccoa. It was August 2003 and it was at the time we had that massive power outage that affected the entire east coast of the United States. Remember that?

     Although our missions board and church tried to encourage us to go on a mission trip every summer, I felt in my heart I wanted to focus more on doing outreaches on Long Island and our surrounding areas. My goal was always to prepare these kids to go to youth group. What I found from day one was that many of our kids were not ready to go to youth group so we created a Leaders in Training (L.I.T.) program. This was a blessing to me but towards the end of my ministry time at SGT it became a huge problem. I'll explain about that in my next blog! I do have to say that in 2003 to 2008 I had a great group of students. Each year I hated to see my students graduate and move on to youth group but I knew they needed to move on. My two oldest children, Jordan and Kaylee began getting involved with the ministry which was very exciting for me. On a personal level I felt as though many things were coming together for me. I was being asked to write curriculum for Charisma Life and their Kids Church program. I also had invitations to teach workshops at the Children's Pastors Conference in Kansas City, MO and Orlando, FL for the International Network of Children's Ministry. I also continued teaching workshops for the New Jersey Christian Ministries at Hawthorne Gospel Church in Hawthorne, NJ. We continued to have so many amazing open doors for ministry and God was blessing our ministry! Now.....in the next blog I'll share with you about my last 5 years. The final chapter!!