CONFIDENCE

     Confidence! It's always a challenge for all of us. To some of us it comes easy. To others it's a ongoing battle. We all have that one thing we have confidence in doing. It could be a job, a sport, a hobby or just confidence that everything is going to be okay. In this brief blog this week, let me share with you my battles as well as my victories!

     Growing up I had a huge battle with confidence. I had a very bad self image of myself. Struggling in school was always what did it for me. Being very shy and quiet was also my battle. I am still amazed that God called me into full time ministry where I had to talk. I didn't say a whole lot in elementary, middle and high school. I guess you can say I saved all my talking for 22 + years in children's ministry. Now I make dummies talk! (Don't tell Grandpa Lou I called him a dummy!) I will never forget the first time I was ever asked to speak. It was at my church in August 1982 on a Wednesday evening. Our Senior Pastor asked myself and another bible college student to be Paul to speak on consecutive weeks. I did prepare well and to keep my mind off the frightening moment when I was to speak I accepted an invitation to go water skiing with some friends. The one and only time I ever tried that! I really thought I was confident in my speaking abilities and when Pastor Forseth introduced me to the small congregation I remember walking up to the pulpit then turning around. To say I had major fear was an understatement! I don't remember a word I said. I remember shaking! A lot! I also remember looking at one particular man sitting in the middle of the church. He kept smiling at me. I thought maybe his smile was him saying "Boy, this guy really stinks. I hope his education at bible college helps him!" Instead, at the end of the service he told me "That was great." I was ready to quit truthfully. Maybe God would rather have me as a plumber than as a pastor. Through the years my confidence grew. When I was thrust into children's ministry and started doing puppet ministry I realized that the only way I could ever gain confidence is by going up in front of kids and adults. All I can say is in my many years of doing kids ministry my confidence has grown. I never use notes when I speak to kids but when I do speak to adults, YES, I do use my notes!

     I lost a lot of confidence 7 1/2 years ago when I resigned from my children's pastor position. I had to try my best to gain confidence when I drove a limo, sold lawn care door to door for TruGreen and became a manager at Chick Fil-A. It was a battle. I was put in some uncomfortable situations! Trying to deal with impatient passengers in a limo, customers who were not satisfied with how their lawn looked or guests at Chick Fil-A who were angry they got 11 nuggets instead of 12 and the bagger gave them 4 CFA sauces instead of 5 (Sawwssess is how New Yorkers say it). I have relied on my favorite verse in the entire bible which is found in Philippians 4:13 which says "I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me." As I pastored children, drove a limo, worked at TruGreen and now work at Chick Fil-A & Home Depot, I know without a shadow of a doubt that my confidence is in my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. I pray you find confidence in Him as well!