DEALING WITH THE LOSS OF A DEAR FRIEND

 

                                                  

JASON LUNDGREN 1964-2026

      

I had just got home in between my jobs. I will never forget sitting on my porch as my phone vibrated and the message I received said, "Jason Lundgren has passed away this morning." Those are words you never want to read, especially about someone you have known the majority of your life! Jason was 61 years of age and he will be missed. I have never ever had to deal with seeing a dear friend pass away. It is very weird. I know Jason is no longer suffering and is worshipping his savior in heaven. I wanted this blog to celebrate Jason's life but also to talk about how we deal with a close friend passing away.

     I can't pinpoint when I exactly met Jason. It was either at Couriers Camp, Sunday School or Youth Group around 1979 in New York. I was always at church as a teen. At church, a group of us all became good friends including Buddy, Walter, Rich, Jeff, my brother Mike, Jason and myself. None of us drank or partied. To this day I still don't know what to do if I walked into a bar. I was never a part of that scene. It was always our desire to be close to the Lord, to grow in Him and to be faithful at church. We all loved Christian Rock music but most of all we always laughed and had a great time. I have fond memories of hanging out after church at the Villager Diner but also laughing and hanging out in the church parking lot right by Jason's truck after a Wednesday night service. As I got involved in ministry to kids at Smithtown Gospel Tabernacle, Jason joined our Puppet Ministry and also helped me out at our Sunday night Super Church program and our Wednesday night summer King's Kids Club.

     To describe Jason in a few words it would have to be "A funny guy who made you laugh but was also a true friend to all." He used to come out with some very funny comments through the years. I still laugh when I think about them. I think he broke a Guiness Book of World Records for being an usher in the most weddings.  He was in my wedding party along with my brother Mike's wedding and so many others. I have fond memories of us all going to the movies, going bowling but also playing Trivial Pursuit at either his house or my house. I also have memories going on trips with him, Walter, Mike and Buddy first visiting Buddy in Nashville, TN and also all going to Disney World in Orlando, FL, my first time there! We all also went on our TNT (Twenties and Thirties) retreats at Tuscarora Inn in Pennsylvania as well as going to Action Park and Great Adventure. Jason also had several nicknames including J.C., Guido and Ricky!

     As time marched on, we all got older, got married and had many responsibilities. After my wedding I was focused on my marriage, my ministry and having a child 11 months after my wedding date. I did not see Jason a whole lot except after church every once in a while. Life changes and those days of all of us going out after church, going to the movies and going on trips were no longer a thing. Since you have responsibilities, you have to focus on your family, your career and you need to pace yourself. I wish we had Facebook back in 1992 when I got married but the internet was not invented yet. If it was, I would have access to my high school and college friends. Unfortunately, you lose touch with people. I think looking back, I do feel bad that I did lose touch with Jason. It was not on purpose it's just life.  

     Jason never got to experience marriage, but he was able to save up money and purchase a co-op. He loved his Cadillac and he worked several jobs including one as a Security Guard, When I was driving a limo getting ready to pick up a client, I pulled up to his Security Guard booth at Computer Associates and surprised him. As always, he had a big smile on his face happy to see me. He had a heart of gold and was compassionate towards everyone. I will never forget when his friend Ron's father died, he asked me to officiate at the funeral and burial. He was extremely kind to Ron's family offering to drive his mom and sisters to the burial. I will never forget Ron's mom saying, "There is no one else in the world like Jason." What a great example of demonstrating God's love to a hurting family! 

     Dealing with Jason's death has been hard. I could not be there at his funeral being that I live 16 plus hours away. That is tough. My heart breaks for his brothers Dean, Robbie and sister Laura. They have all experienced death losing both their parents in the last 7 years or so. I don't know how people deal with death without knowing Jesus as their savior. I often think of myself and when it is time for me to go home to heaven. I know, just like Jason has now, there is a promise for all of us and for me that my reward is in heaven. It is not something I earned or deserve. It is a promise from God when I accepted Jesus into my heart. It makes me happy to know that Jason is no longer suffering. Jason had a dreaded sickness called Huntington's disease that affected his neurological system. He called barely walk and because he could not drive, he would walk to church. When church members offered to drive him, he would decline and it was hard to watch him struggle. He was determined to get to church on his own. The last time I saw Jason before I moved was at a Mexican restaurant in Smithtown. While we were enjoying our meal, I saw a man struggling to walk into the restaurant. I wasn't sure if it was Jason. It's a small restaurant on Maple Ave directly across the street from Jason's home. Before we left, I went over to him to say "Hello" and told him I was moving to Columbia, SC in about a month. He was happy to see me and always had a huge smile on his face. My heart broke to see him struggle even to eat his food. He got up to hug me and I told him, "You don't have to get up" but he insisted. I didn't realize then it would be my last time being face to face with him.

     I want to conclude by simply saying we should always be in touch with friends and family and tell them we love them. If you are married, tell your spouse you love them every time you leave the house or before you go to sleep. It might be your last time ever! Life is too short. I want to tell all my friends, family and loved ones "I LOVE YOU" and I certainly miss you all who are in New York as well as my PA family. I love my kids and miss them. Like any of you, I have tried my best to keep in touch with old friends on Facebook and, as you all know, I love to send jokes and play around. There are several things in life that are guaranteed and one of them is death. We don't know when the Good Lord wants to call us home. I know I still have more work to do here on earth but until then, as they say in the movie "Toy Story," "You've got a friend in me." Rest in Peace, Jason! One day we will all be in heaven together laughing and enjoying the presence of God! It won't be at the Villager Diner or by your truck, but it will be at a very amazing place, Heaven! 

          

HAVE A GREAT WEEK EVERYONE!!

GIVE 100%

                         

      It was the fall of 1977. I had this crazy idea to join our Junior High Football team. I was 13 years old believing that I could be a great athlete. Boy did I have a wakeup call. I was a tall skinny kid and looked nothing like a football player. I admit it. I was too nice and too polite to be playing football. I thought maybe just maybe I could be the starting quarterback. That never happened. I played "Left Bench." I warmed the bench up for the "real players". I barely played! I recorded 2 tackles all season as I played Safety in a few games and, should I admit this? They couldn't find a helmet to fit my head. I had to share it with another player. That would never happen today! I always thought, "Wow! It would be so cool to wear our team jersey in the school hallways before a game. My classmates might think I'm a cool guy! We did it before our first game and after we won, our coach told us we had to wear a SHIRT & TIE! WHAT? So much for young girls being impressed with me. During one practice, the coach asked me to field punts. In a nutshell, I was being used as a "tackling dummy." It was not a great season of my life and let's just say I never played football at school again. Should I be shocked I was never asked to play in high school? On the bright side, our team went 6-0. An undefeated season. I had nothing to do with that. I guess I was there to cheer on my teammates. I can't believe that was 48 1/2 years ago!

     The coach was Mr. Snyder, who had a lot of success as a Junior High School football coach. During one practice he told our team "When you run with that football, your goal is to reach that end zone. Don't stop moving your legs. Keep running." We did several drills and Mr. Snyder made sure we were in good shape. Coach always emphasized, "Give 100%." I always held onto that. In my brief and pathetic football career, I learned I had to give 100% in playing the game. Although football was not my gift, there were other gifts I later discovered in life. What I did learn is in everything you do, give 100%!

     I admit that I struggled in school as a student. I tried my best and I am proud to say, after a rough high school academically I later did receive a college degree. I gave it my best shot and worked hard for that degree. I got hired as a pastor not because of my grades or degrees. It was because of my heart and my abilities. I always gave it 100%. The church leaders and my Senior Pastor, Pastor Forseth saw in me someone who had a gift in doing children's ministry. I always made a vow that as I was doing ministry, I would always give it 100%! 

     I did not first learn to give 100% from a football coach. That lesson came directly from my parents. Even as a child I was taught to "always give it my all" It didn't matter if it was playing in a Little League game, going to school or just living life, my mom and dad taught me that "in everything you do, always give it 100%". Great advice. I was a very active kid. I loved playing sports, especially street hockey. I was also very competitive. When I played, I played hard. It didn't matter if it was in the streets, in our driveway, in gym class or at my college gym, I gave it my best. What strikes me funny is that in high school and well into college, I was a very lazy kid. I loved staying up late at night watching TV and I was impossible to wake up in the morning, just ask my mom! 

     When God called me to work in children's ministry, my desire to give 100% continued and never died. My goal was to one day become a children's pastor. I worked hard towards that goal by creating ministries for kids, traveling doing puppet shows and being a graduate of the "School of Hard Knocks." My goal was accomplished in 1991 when I was offered a position as a Children's Pastor at Smithtown Gospel Tabernacle.

     To conclude, I hope in everything you do whether it is work, family, relationships, playing sports or even doing yard work, I hope you always give 100% in all you do. Here is a scripture verse:

    Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working 

for the Lord, not for men. Colossians 3:23 (NIV)

       Let's give 100% in everything we do! It's worth it and the end result is always worth it! Even better, when you do it as unto the Lord ... Look out!!

HAVE A BLESSED WEEK, FRIENDS!! 

A LESSON WE CAN LEARN FROM JOHN STEPHEN AKHWARI

 

     John Stephen Akhwari has an amazing story and it's something we can certainly learn from in life. So, who is this man and what is his story? John Stephen Akhwari is a marathon runner from the African country of Tanzania. He competed in the 1968 Summer Olympics. He was born in 1938 and is very well known in the continent of Africa for his running skills. He finished first in the African Marathon Championships before he went to the 1968 Summer Olympics which was in Mexico City. What happened to him and how he reacted is what this blog is about.

     John Stephen Akhwari represented his country of Tanzania during the 1968 Summer Olympics. I'm sure he was very excited to participate and represent his country. He trained in Tanzania for several years and I'm sure he hoped he would get a medal in the marathon. During the race in Mexico City, tragedy struck. Akhwari fell! He badly hurt his shoulder and dislocated his knee. Medics came and bandaged his knee thinking they would take Akhwari to the hospital. WRONG! Akhwari insisted that he continue running the race! Why would he want to do that? He had no chance to get a medal and it would take an eternity for him to finish the race. Akhwari never gave up. He ran, he walked, he stumbled all on a dislocated knee and with an injured shoulder. The marathon came to an end and the winner Mamo Wolde finished with a time of 3:25:27. Akhwari finished a little more than an hour after the winner. He came in last place as 57 other competitors finished ahead of him. 

     Getting back to the race, as the sun was setting and there were maybe a thousand people still in the Olympic stadium, Akhwari stumbled into the stadium trying desperately to have enough strength to cross the finish line. At the same exact time, medals were being distributed to the Olympic marathon winners, Gold, silver and bronze, at a different location. When word reached those at the medal ceremony that Akhwari entered the Olympic stadium, the television network who was producing the Summer Olympics immediately sent reporters and a camera crew to the Olympic Stadium to interview Akhwari. A reporter asked him, "Why didn't you give up when you knew you had no chance of winning the race?"Akhwari, in obvious pain responded, "My country did not send me 5,000 miles to start the race. They sent me 5,000 miles to finish the race." He also said, "I never thought about stopping."

     Friends, this is an amazing story I recently read about all about never quitting. I'm sure there have times in your life where you have quit either a job, volunteering somewhere or maybe with a relationship? Nobody ever remembers the names of people who quit. In my several jobs, I can't remember the names of people I have worked with who quit after one day. They are usually forgotten. You never see the names of people who quit in the middle of running the New York City marathon. I'm sure there are thousands of names throughout the years. We should never give up and quit. There is that old saying "Quitters never win, and winners never quit!"  I often think about Jesus. He never quit on us. Imagine if he quit and said, "I can't die on the cross. This is too much for me." Life would be different for us. I'm so glad Jesus never quit and I'm glad to this day he never quits on us. He is there for us 24/7. He never quit. What a great example to us. We should never quit.

To conclude, Akhwari never ever had a thought of quitting that marathon. It was not even a thought. Because of his actions, he was recognized in his country as a hero. In spite of a difficult situation, Akhwari never quit. With a dislocated knee and a injured shoulder, he pressed on and eventually finished his race...even if he came in last place! I still can't believe he ran on a dislocated knee!The Bible tells us in Philippians 3:14, "I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." The word "Quit" should never be a part of our vocabulary. Let's follow the example of John Stephen Akhwari, even though this incident occurred almost 58 years ago. Don't quit! Press on! Our prize is waiting for us in heaven! Keep pressing on, friends!  

Here's a video of John Stephen Akhwari!!     

       

DELIGHT YOURSELF IN THE LORD

 

     DELIGHT YOURSELF IN THE LORD, AND HE WILL 

GIVE YOU THE DESIRES OF YOUR HEART - PSALM 37:4. 

     I have read that verse several times and I have certainly tried my best to live by it. I look at it as a reminder of how important delighting yourself in the Lord is. The word "Delight" means "a high degree of gratification or pleasure." I'm sure for yourself there are several things that give you pleasure. I think of members of my own family. My grandfather, my Dad's Dad found pleasure whenever he went fishing. He had an assortment of fishing supplies in his basement and garage. My Dad found pleasure when he was in the basement doing woodwork. He built several pieces of furniture. My sister has a kitchen table he made. His workshop had had several power tools, and he had cigar boxes in his cabinet filled with nails and screws. He loved doing woodworking. He also loved his vegetable garden. It gave him pleasure when he walked into the house with fresh tomatoes, zucchini, squash and string beans. Unfortunately, some of us find pleasure with things that are not good for you. Alcohol and illegal drugs are abused every day bringing temporary pleasure to so many. Abusing these things cause major addiction and so many lives being destroyed. I thank God I have never had this problem. I hear from sources that the effects of drugs will give pleasure to you personally. However, it is short lived and like I said before, it does result in major problems that affect your life and the lives of others, including your family.

     The above verse from Psalm 37:4 has always been misquoted. So many people look at the second part of that verse and ignore the first part. "The Bible says God will give me the desires of my heart, bless God!", many say. Unfortunately, this is where we get that ugly "Name it and claim it" or the "Blab it and grab it" theology that, in my opinion is not biblical. You hear, "God doesn't want you to be poor, He doesn't want you to struggle financially. He will give you the desires of your heart." Or how about "You deserve a Cadillac or a Mercedes Benz. It will be in your driveway if you claim it, brother!" I do agree that God does give you the best, but does his "best" have to be a brand-new sports car or a lot of money in your bank account? Whatever happened to reflecting on the first part of Psalm 37:4?  "Delight yourself in the Lord...    

     "Delighting yourself in the Lord" is where it is at. I have learned I need to stop treating God like my "Magical Genie", but to treat him like "My Savior." He is NOT this great big Santa Claus up in the sky who will give me whatever I want. He will give "meet my needs according to his riches in glory." (Philippians 4:19). I have also learned that "Delight" does not come from what I do for the Lord in ministry, but from my heart. I must must must do what Psalm 37:4 says first. Delighting myself in Him! I need to take delight in Him and put my focus on pleasing Him in every way. I have to stop being a spoiled child complaining that "I never get what I want." Instead, I need to find pleasure in my savior. I need to thank Him for what I do have and stop complaining about what I don't have. If God said yes to every one of my prayer wants, I'm sure I would probably go nuts and end up in a room at Pilgrim State (which is a Psych Ward in New York). I take delight in my savior, Jesus Christ. I know He knows what's best for me. When I do that, THEN "he will give me the desires of my heart." This life is not a sprint, but a marathon. I am still learning, even at 62! 😀

HAVE A BLESSED WEEK AND THANKS FOR READING MY BLOG!