A TALE OF 2 TIES

      Happy Father's Day to all the Dads out there! Let me begin this log by giving a disclaimer. I am in no way looking for sympathy nor am I crying the "Poor Me's." I am merely expressing my heart as well as giving my opinion. If you have been praying for me, thank you! If I didn't know Jesus as my Savior and have great friends, I would have definitely been living at Pilgrim State or Bellview these last eight years. I appreciate it a whole lot. When you go through tough times, you always know who your true friends are! Thank you friends and family!

     Father's Day has been difficult for me since 1995. My father went to be with Jesus on Father's Day. I miss him! He had a great sense of humor just like mine. There are days I wish I could ask for his advice on things. Our family misses him dearly. Since then I have tried to celebrate that day with my kids and it has always been a struggle. Especially since 2013 when I resigned from Smithtown Gospel Tabernacle. I even spent one Father's Day 3 years ago in the ER with painful kidney stones. That certainly was not a fun day to remember. I have 4 kids as many of you know. After I went through my hell at SGT in 2013, my relationship with my 2 eldest kids went south unfortunately. Even writing about it hurts. I wish I could take a magic wand and heal it right away. There is a lot of hurt, anger and bitterness and I realize that takes time to heal. I really don't want to rehash the whole thing because quite frankly I am tired of rehashing my last 3 months at SGT. It hurts! It hurts me that only one leader there has reached out to me in 8 years. That hurts. I guess I should never expect that. It hurts that my kids were affected my my forced resignation. I think about it everyday and plead with God to remove the hurt. I can't even drive past my old parsonage without getting emotional. I have no desire to enter that church building or school. Recently, a friend asked me to watch part of the SGT service on You Tube and wanted my opinion. I'm sorry I did. I watched maybe 2 minutes and quite honestly I felt sad. Not because I'm not here anymore but because I felt the worship was depressing. I did not sense the presence of God whatsoever in any part of the service. I was creeped out. Just my opinion.

     So what is my Tale of 2 Ties? When my 2 eldest kids Jordan and Kaylee were in Preschool, they gave me a Father's Day gift. Pictured above are tie bookmarks they gave me which I have held onto for well over 20 plus years. It has always meant the world to me that they took the time to make these for me. I also have a rock paper weight my son Tyler made for me and a Valentine's Day heart card my daughter Kassie made for me. Tyler's rock is by my TV and Kassie's heart is on my wall over my TV. As I mentioned before my relationship with my 2 older kids went south. We barely speak to each other. When we do it's awkward. I would do anything to see it healed. For many years I have kept their tie bookmarks in my devotional I read daily called "Daily in Christ" by Neil T. Anderson. They are tied together to always remind me to pray for reconciliation. I have held onto these bookmarks all these years and it's a reminder to me to pray daily for my kids. If they are reading this, I want them to know I love them and want nothing more to work out our differences. I miss them terribly. I pray every day for a healing in our relationship. Father's Day for me these last few years has honestly just been another Sunday. I am not looking for sympathy nor am I trying to cry on anyone's shoulder. I just want to see a healing in my relationship with my kids. Instead of taking out my 2 younger one's for dinner, I hope one day it will be all 4 kids. In the meantime, I will just continue to trust God knowing He will make a way when there seems to be no way. I will hold onto that promise as well as the 2 ties that sit inside my devotional. If there is one thing I have learned it is this. God is in control! He will never let me down! 

One last thing! If you don't have a good relationship with your Dad, make it right today. If your Dad is no longer with us, trust me when I say "I feel your pain." 

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!!            

THANK YOU HOME DEPOT

 

     Last Saturday around 9 p.m. I walked out of the South Setauket, NY Home Depot for the final time. It was my last day! It was bittersweet. I enjoyed my time with my fellow associates and loved the challenge of shopping for people as an OFA (Order Fulfillment Associate). Trying to find rare wood screws and garden tools as well as 12 foot two by fours was always fun and challenging! Working only one job now is much better not only financially but physically. All I can say is thank you Home Depot for 15 great months! Maybe one day I will come back if I need to but for right now I am grateful for my time there! Here is how it all started!

     In December 2019 before this annoying pandemic my job at the Machine Shop came to an end. No more jobs were coming in. I had 2 other jobs, Chick Fil-A and my job being a caregiver to a handicapped college student. During the month of January 2020 the college student I cared for was on break and returned home. I needed extra income so I saw a "Help Wanted" sign at my local Home Depot and applied online. I applied at Home Depot many times and finally I was granted an interview. I had a second interview and in mid February Home Depot hired me to work in the Garden Department. I started on February 29th. My hope was to work there Tuesday afternoons as well as Monday and Friday nights. That all changed on March 18th. The pandemic was starting and my college student job ended. His college was closing its doors and he had to return home. A few days later Chick Fil-A had to shut down for 3 weeks! One of our team members tested positive for Covid-19 so we were forced to shut down. The whole Covid-19 was all new to us and Chick Fil-A had no idea what was ahead. The one positive was that we did get paid during our layoff but I was only down to one job...Home Depot. Only being an employee there for a few weeks and working about 16 hours I knew it would be a longshot for them to give me more hours so I decided it wouldn't hurt to ask. The HR department told me "Yes! Please work! We are losing a lot of people. No one wants to work!" I was given anywhere from 32 to 40 hours! When Chick Fil -A reopened its restaurant on April 13th, I was not sure if they would have to close again so I decided to work full time at Home Depot and 2 days a week at Chick Fil-A. Yes, I worked 7 days! It was crazy but I needed the money. Since churches were not meeting in their buildings and only online I knew it would help me financially.

     I learned a lot working at Home Depot. I saw the "real world." I saw a lot of nervous, fearful angry people who had a lot of uncertainty of what was going on in our world with the global pandemic. I learned a lot about weed wackers, lawn mowers and fertilizer. We also had a limit of the number of people who were allowed in our store. People were not happy! The "New York Attitude" was at full force! I worked in the Garden Department for 5 months and was switched over to Deliveries (Order Fulfillment Associate) in August and worked there for 10 months. When Chick Fil-A promoted me earlier this year I decided to work at Home Depot only Saturdays and Monday nights. When CFA offered me a sixth day of work which meant good overtime, I had to grab it. So with all this said, I am grateful for my experience at Home Depot. I feel it is a great job for young college kids as well as anyone who needs a part time job. The pay is really not so hot but the work environment is fabulous. Home Depot treats their employees well. On holidays they provide food for their workers, we had Mr. Softee outside on the 4th of July and we had free ice cream All kidding aside they really respect their workers. I believe many other companies can learn from Home Depot how to appreciate their workers. Thanks Home Depot. It was a great 15 months!

SEE YOU ALL AGAIN SOON!       

WHAT'S YOUR OPINION??

     What's your opinion? Truthfully, in the last few years I have been afraid to share my opinion. it seems as though in this crazy world we live in, we have to be careful whenever we share our opinion. It's as if we need to give a disclaimer so that no one is offended. It doesn't matter what people group, what nationality or what religion. People get offended if you ever share your opinion. Just this past week, I read something on Facebook that really bothered me. I know that if that same thing were posted maybe 15 years ago, I would be able to express my opinion. But nowadays? No way! I miss the days when you can express your opinion without worrying about people being offended. The only thing I can say and will say (yes, my opinion) is that we live in a very difficult world. We live in a sad world that is spiraling out of control. It seems as though in the life of the church, sin seems to be sugar coated. It's as if many Christians feel they get a free pass when they are living in sin. The Facebook post I read did not imply this outright, but in my careful assessment all I can say, in my opinion, is that as Christians we need to discern what is right and what is wrong. As a 57 year old man who loves Jesus and is an ordained Pastor I need to focus on myself, keep living my life for the Lord and follow Him every single day. Yes! That is my opinion!