SOMEONE SPECIAL PART TWO

 

      Let me begin this blog by saying how blessed Laure and I are when we read the Facebook posts. The encouragement and love we feel is overwhelming and we are blessed to have such amazing friends through the years and family. Thank you everyone.

     So.....let me continue the story and after this blog I will have a part three because there is so much to write, and I work full time as you know! So, after I brought Laure flowers and the mini-Chick Fil - A cow I could tell by her face she was shocked, and I wasn't sure if she knew my intentions. I asked her if she would like to go out for a cup of coffee the following night (I didn't know at the time she liked tea, not coffee) and she agreed. That would be when I would tell her I had a crush on her. I still was not feeling 100% so I didn't go to church on Sunday, the next day. Instead, I rested. I could not believe how nervous I felt wanting to tell someone how I felt about them. Now you all need to understand something. Although I grew up extremely shy and quiet, after bible college and getting involved in kid's ministry, the shy quiet guy needed to disappear in order to effectively minister to kids. I think I still shock my high school friends when they hear I actually got paid to speak! I have spoken in front of 1800 people at SGT, I spoke at many Christian School Chapels and taught Children's Ministry Workshops Nationwide at Conferences. I have lost count how many times I have done my ventriloquism. That entire Sunday I rehearsed in my head what I was going to say to her. My biggest fear was being rejected. I didn't want this to affect our relationship and friendship if she were to tell me "This is not a good idea" or "You are a friend to me. Nothing more." I even rehearsed in my head how I would react if she did reject me. I guess being rejected by my church caused me to have this fear. I didn't want to get hurt and I certainly did not want her to get hurt. I laugh about it now that I was rehearsing what I was going to say and that I was so gosh darn nervous. I remember watching a hockey game, but I could not even tell you who was playing! 

     Well, the time came for us to meet. I went to pick her up at her apartment. Her daughter was getting ready to go to her church for a Sunday night service, so I said "Hi" to her and off Laure and I went. We pulled up to the Diner, a different one and I was happy it was empty. I had it planned that I would tell her my feelings once our meals arrived. We had a booth over by the window. Perfect spot I thought. Just before the waitress brought our food, the hostess decided to sit a large group of people at a table near us. What??? I couldn't believe it! The Diner was empty! We had a great conversation and then it was time to leave. I thought maybe as we are driving, I'll tell her. But then I thought "How am I going to say this during a conversation?"  It would have been like "Hey, Laure? How was your tea? Oh, by the way I have a crush on you!" No, I didn't think that would work! Do you remember when you were a kid, and you watched cartoons. In some there was a little man on your shoulder talking to you. It's like the Great Kazoo on "The Flintstones." My little man was saying, "Come on, dummy. Say something!" We turned on her street and pulled up in front of her apartment. Laure looked at me and said, "Thank you for taking me out." I blurted out, "Listen before you go there is something I would like to talk to you about. I have to admit to you I'm a little nervous about what I'm going to say." Laure looked at me and said, "You can tell me anything. We're friends!" I said, okay, I'm just going to say it. I HAVE A CRUSH ON YOU," I braced myself for her reaction and her reaction was shock! But she did say she did feel the same way. I then told her how I couldn't stop thinking about her, how I was fearful about her reaction and them I briefly discussed with her how I felt If this was truly a "God thing" how we should take it very slow. And that is exactly what we have done!

     Laure and I have really enjoyed our times together. We both work a lot, but we look forward to spending time together when we can. We have gone to the beach to watch the sunset. We have traveled out to the east end of Long Island. We have been to baseball games and attended weddings. When I go out on outreaches as The Puppet Guy, she has been there with me when she can. She is an amazing support to me in my ministry. She was there when I was installed as an Associate Pastor at Lift Jesus Highter Fellowship in 2022. She came with me to PA to spend Thanksgiving with my family and my family absolutely loves her. I have gotten to know many of her friends, and I have gone with her when she has done haircuts as she is a hairdresser. She is also a Caregiver; a Senior Companion and I have met many of her clients. She has met my fellow Chick Fil-A Team members and my friends as well. Although we have taken this relationship at a "snail's pace", I will have to say we are very much in love and are praying about what is next for us. 

     In my next blog, I'm going to share what we have been through together in 2024. 

HAVE A BLESSED WEEK EVERYONE. THANKS FOR READING!!  

               

SOMEONE SPECIAL PART ONE

 

     Well, it's been quite some time since I have blogged. It's been a busy but productive July. I've had outreaches, a kid's program at my church complete with a Bible Time Machine and of course work, work and more work! I started writing this blog on June 25th and discovered it was very long so this topic "Someone Special" will be in 3 parts. Yes! I said 3 parts!! It's fun leaving people in suspense! So, buckle up your seatbelts! Here it is!

     I try to live a very private life. While I was a pastor, I lived my life in a fishbowl. I knew I was highly respected, but there were many times I knew members of my church were watching me like a hawk. I even had a guy ask me after church why I was so tired! When I told him I had gotten home at midnight after a full day of ministry, I think he felt bad that he asked me that question! Even when I would be out in the church parking lot with my kids, members of my church would pull up wanting to speak to me. My time with my children was precious and sacred. Some were offended when I told them I couldn't speak to them. Life in a fishbowl. I don't miss that!

     I have been writing this blog since 2018 and I have lived by certain rules. I don't blog about my kids as they politely asked me not to. I don't mention my ex-wife and although I did blog about my previous church, I don't really like to discuss the leadership there. I have learned to forgive. I also have not shared other areas of my life that I consider private. Let's just say I am one private guy! After my divorce in 2019, I honestly had no thoughts about the "Dating scene." My main goal for myself was to heal from the wounds I had endured at my previous church as well as to see a healing with my kids. I wanted nothing more than to stay close to Jesus and grow more in Him. I had no thoughts towards any of those Christian dating sites. I had heard horror stories of people putting up phony pictures creating phony accounts. I was always afraid I would see a profile photo of a lady who looked like Christie Brinkley, but I would end up face to face on my first date with Roseanne Barr! Working at Chick Fil-A with kids half my age and younger did not give me very much opportunity to find a date. Instead, I was more of a "Father figure."  At Chick Fil-A Port Jefferson my nickname was either PD (Pastor Dave) or P Diddy. In Chick Fil-A Commack they called me "Dad." I even had one young lady tell me I was more of a Dad to her than her real Dad! Anyone close to my age was married already. I had more important tasks at hand than to date someone. Then it happened! Someone special came into my life. Actually, it was someone I already knew. Her name is Laure!

     I first met Laure at my church in 2003 but we discovered later on we actually met in 1997 and didn't realize it. Our church every Family Sunday, the second Sunday of the month always had Baby Dedications. Very rarely did I ever get to hold a baby to pray for them or be involved in baby Dedications. With seven pastors on our staff there was no need for me to be involved, except if there were many dedications. It just so happened that in September 1997 I had the privilege of holding Laure's daughter. I have a picture to prove it! The picture shows me holding her daughter along with Laure, Laure's husband, Laure's step- daughter and another associate pastor standing next to me. Laure found a VHS tape that we watched, and we laughed at how God orchestrated this even before we officially met. We both don't remember when I held her daughter at all. We did officially meet in 2003. Her daughter was 6 at the time and she attended our Sunday Kids Church program we called Kidz for Christ. For several weeks, Laure sat in the back of our gym to see what we did and how we taught the kids. I approached her and asked her if she wanted to get involved and she said yes. Since that point not only did she get involved with Kidz for Christ, she also volunteered with Pathfinders which later became Missionettes, Vacation Bible School and many special events. Not only was she one of my workers, she became a family friend. She cut my kids hair (she is an amazing hairdresser), we asked her to pet sit our cat and hamsters when we went away on vacation. She asked me to counsel her husband who had issues and we met for quite some time. Laure worked in the school cafeteria as a Recess Aid and whenever I went to visit with my kids, I would see her in the lunchroom or on the playground. I always loved the fact that although she struggled in different areas of her life, she always had a smile on her face. She loved spending time with her daughter and was always involved with her in school and church activities. She worked very hard to keep her daughter in a Christian School working for the school, cutting hair and also working for DDI (Developmental Disabilities Institute) being a caregiver to her niece. Like I said, she was a family friend.

     Fast forward to January 2011. I could write a lot, but I need to fast forward to 2011. Laure had to sell her home. It was a home she grew up in that her sister Nina and her inherited, Because Laure had to work so many jobs and her husband did not work, the house was in danger of going into foreclosure. With a failing marriage and struggling to pay bills, Laure had to sell her home. A number of her friends, including me went over to her house to help her pack and bring all her belongings to her new apartment. I was off on Mondays at the church, and I was happy to help her. We packed my van along with other vehicles with her "stuff." The entire time we were there her husband sat upstairs and didn't lift a finger. It was mainly because he was not moving with Laure and their daughter. I won't comment on her marriage because my marriage was no better. We kept in touch as she continued working at the school and I was on staff at Smithtown Gospel Tabernacle. Then 2013 came!

     2013. One of the worst years of my life. No. I am not going to rehash that year. No need. It's over with and done. While I was going through my torture, turmoil and personal hell, Laure was going through a lot as well. Her sister Nina, who had a learning disability as well as many physical challenges had to have her leg amputated. I'll be honest. I don't remember a whole lot from 2013. I can't honestly say I remember phone conversations, nor do I remember Laure being there when the church gave me a "stab in the back" going away party (if that's what you want to call it.) We both went our separate ways and we would call each other on occasion for the next few years. In 2016, Laure and her daughter found an apartment in Lake Grove, NY. I owned a van at the time, and she called me and asked me if I would help her move her bird cage (I'll talk about her pet parrot Cracker later) as well as stuff she had at a storage unit. I was happy to help a friend. This was about a year after I was asked to leave, and I was separated from my wife and kids. Not an easy time in my life!

     My divorce was finalized in 2019. I was not looking for a relationship, to go out on dates or anything like that. I was struggling financially, hoping to start my own ministry and trying to keep my sanity. Thank goodness I know Jesus as my savior! I had some friends tell me I should go on a Christian dating site. No chance! How do we seriously know if the woman behind the picture wasn't a phony account? It might be some guy in his basement in Kalamazoo, MI who is bored messing with me or another poor sap. At this point in my life, I was working A LOT! In fact, I had 2 jobs and worked 6 days a week. Later that year I had 3 jobs! Paying off bills, child support and rent was a challenge. Having time for myself, going on vacation, going fishing and relaxation were not happening, unfortunately. However, one person I did call and reach out to was Laure. She was a close friend to me and honestly nothing more. I wasn't trying to woo her, impress her or wine and dine her. I was just happy to have a dear friend to talk to, hang out with and laugh with. Then it happened! Laure came to visit me at Chick Fil-A. I went to visit her at her job at Cosmo Prof. I started having feelings for her and it scared me. I tried to pray it away for a good reason. I didn't want it to hurt our friendship. The only problem was I couldn't stop thinking about her. I decided to test it out, so I asked her if she wanted to go out to eat at a Diner on a Sunday evening. I thought that would be a great test to make sure my feelings were legit and to see if maybe just maybe she felt the same way. We had a nice time, and I never called this a date but a "Test." I didn't share my feelings with her. I just wanted to see how we would interact and to see if we could have a potential relationship or not. After both of us were hurt in different circumstances, I certainly did not want that to happen to either one of us. 

     The following week I had a terrible cold and although we spoke on the phone, I didn't get to see her. Laure's birthday was the following weekend, so I had the idea of getting her flowers. After work, I knocked on her door and was happy she was home. I handed her the flowers along with a Chick Fil-A cow and by the look on her face, I shocked her. She was very happy, but I knew she did not know my feelings. I asked her if she wanted to go out again and she agreed. I made up my mind I would tell her how I feel.

     I'm going to continue next time because I can go on!!Stay Tuned! Enjoy your weekend!!