Well, it's been quite some time since I have blogged. It's been a busy but productive July. I've had outreaches, a kid's program at my church complete with a Bible Time Machine and of course work, work and more work! I started writing this blog on June 25th and discovered it was very long so this topic "Someone Special" will be in 3 parts. Yes! I said 3 parts!! It's fun leaving people in suspense! So, buckle up your seatbelts! Here it is!
I try to live a very private life. While I was a pastor, I lived my life in a fishbowl. I knew I was highly respected, but there were many times I knew members of my church were watching me like a hawk. I even had a guy ask me after church why I was so tired! When I told him I had gotten home at midnight after a full day of ministry, I think he felt bad that he asked me that question! Even when I would be out in the church parking lot with my kids, members of my church would pull up wanting to speak to me. My time with my children was precious and sacred. Some were offended when I told them I couldn't speak to them. Life in a fishbowl. I don't miss that!
I have been writing this blog since 2018 and I have lived by certain rules. I don't blog about my kids as they politely asked me not to. I don't mention my ex-wife and although I did blog about my previous church, I don't really like to discuss the leadership there. I have learned to forgive. I also have not shared other areas of my life that I consider private. Let's just say I am one private guy! After my divorce in 2019, I honestly had no thoughts about the "Dating scene." My main goal for myself was to heal from the wounds I had endured at my previous church as well as to see a healing with my kids. I wanted nothing more than to stay close to Jesus and grow more in Him. I had no thoughts towards any of those Christian dating sites. I had heard horror stories of people putting up phony pictures creating phony accounts. I was always afraid I would see a profile photo of a lady who looked like Christie Brinkley, but I would end up face to face on my first date with Roseanne Barr! Working at Chick Fil-A with kids half my age and younger did not give me very much opportunity to find a date. Instead, I was more of a "Father figure." At Chick Fil-A Port Jefferson my nickname was either PD (Pastor Dave) or P Diddy. In Chick Fil-A Commack they called me "Dad." I even had one young lady tell me I was more of a Dad to her than her real Dad! Anyone close to my age was married already. I had more important tasks at hand than to date someone. Then it happened! Someone special came into my life. Actually, it was someone I already knew. Her name is Laure!
I first met Laure at my church in 2003 but we discovered later on we actually met in 1997 and didn't realize it. Our church every Family Sunday, the second Sunday of the month always had Baby Dedications. Very rarely did I ever get to hold a baby to pray for them or be involved in baby Dedications. With seven pastors on our staff there was no need for me to be involved, except if there were many dedications. It just so happened that in September 1997 I had the privilege of holding Laure's daughter. I have a picture to prove it! The picture shows me holding her daughter along with Laure, Laure's husband, Laure's step- daughter and another associate pastor standing next to me. Laure found a VHS tape that we watched, and we laughed at how God orchestrated this even before we officially met. We both don't remember when I held her daughter at all. We did officially meet in 2003. Her daughter was 6 at the time and she attended our Sunday Kids Church program we called Kidz for Christ. For several weeks, Laure sat in the back of our gym to see what we did and how we taught the kids. I approached her and asked her if she wanted to get involved and she said yes. Since that point not only did she get involved with Kidz for Christ, she also volunteered with Pathfinders which later became Missionettes, Vacation Bible School and many special events. Not only was she one of my workers, she became a family friend. She cut my kids hair (she is an amazing hairdresser), we asked her to pet sit our cat and hamsters when we went away on vacation. She asked me to counsel her husband who had issues and we met for quite some time. Laure worked in the school cafeteria as a Recess Aid and whenever I went to visit with my kids, I would see her in the lunchroom or on the playground. I always loved the fact that although she struggled in different areas of her life, she always had a smile on her face. She loved spending time with her daughter and was always involved with her in school and church activities. She worked very hard to keep her daughter in a Christian School working for the school, cutting hair and also working for DDI (Developmental Disabilities Institute) being a caregiver to her niece. Like I said, she was a family friend.
Fast forward to January 2011. I could write a lot, but I need to fast forward to 2011. Laure had to sell her home. It was a home she grew up in that her sister Nina and her inherited, Because Laure had to work so many jobs and her husband did not work, the house was in danger of going into foreclosure. With a failing marriage and struggling to pay bills, Laure had to sell her home. A number of her friends, including me went over to her house to help her pack and bring all her belongings to her new apartment. I was off on Mondays at the church, and I was happy to help her. We packed my van along with other vehicles with her "stuff." The entire time we were there her husband sat upstairs and didn't lift a finger. It was mainly because he was not moving with Laure and their daughter. I won't comment on her marriage because my marriage was no better. We kept in touch as she continued working at the school and I was on staff at Smithtown Gospel Tabernacle. Then 2013 came!
2013. One of the worst years of my life. No. I am not going to rehash that year. No need. It's over with and done. While I was going through my torture, turmoil and personal hell, Laure was going through a lot as well. Her sister Nina, who had a learning disability as well as many physical challenges had to have her leg amputated. I'll be honest. I don't remember a whole lot from 2013. I can't honestly say I remember phone conversations, nor do I remember Laure being there when the church gave me a "stab in the back" going away party (if that's what you want to call it.) We both went our separate ways and we would call each other on occasion for the next few years. In 2016, Laure and her daughter found an apartment in Lake Grove, NY. I owned a van at the time, and she called me and asked me if I would help her move her bird cage (I'll talk about her pet parrot Cracker later) as well as stuff she had at a storage unit. I was happy to help a friend. This was about a year after I was asked to leave, and I was separated from my wife and kids. Not an easy time in my life!
My divorce was finalized in 2019. I was not looking for a relationship, to go out on dates or anything like that. I was struggling financially, hoping to start my own ministry and trying to keep my sanity. Thank goodness I know Jesus as my savior! I had some friends tell me I should go on a Christian dating site. No chance! How do we seriously know if the woman behind the picture wasn't a phony account? It might be some guy in his basement in Kalamazoo, MI who is bored messing with me or another poor sap. At this point in my life, I was working A LOT! In fact, I had 2 jobs and worked 6 days a week. Later that year I had 3 jobs! Paying off bills, child support and rent was a challenge. Having time for myself, going on vacation, going fishing and relaxation were not happening, unfortunately. However, one person I did call and reach out to was Laure. She was a close friend to me and honestly nothing more. I wasn't trying to woo her, impress her or wine and dine her. I was just happy to have a dear friend to talk to, hang out with and laugh with. Then it happened! Laure came to visit me at Chick Fil-A. I went to visit her at her job at Cosmo Prof. I started having feelings for her and it scared me. I tried to pray it away for a good reason. I didn't want it to hurt our friendship. The only problem was I couldn't stop thinking about her. I decided to test it out, so I asked her if she wanted to go out to eat at a Diner on a Sunday evening. I thought that would be a great test to make sure my feelings were legit and to see if maybe just maybe she felt the same way. We had a nice time, and I never called this a date but a "Test." I didn't share my feelings with her. I just wanted to see how we would interact and to see if we could have a potential relationship or not. After both of us were hurt in different circumstances, I certainly did not want that to happen to either one of us.
The following week I had a terrible cold and although we spoke on the phone, I didn't get to see her. Laure's birthday was the following weekend, so I had the idea of getting her flowers. After work, I knocked on her door and was happy she was home. I handed her the flowers along with a Chick Fil-A cow and by the look on her face, I shocked her. She was very happy, but I knew she did not know my feelings. I asked her if she wanted to go out again and she agreed. I made up my mind I would tell her how I feel.
I'm going to continue next time because I can go on!!Stay Tuned! Enjoy your weekend!!
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