We have all had victories in our lives as well as defeats. I have never met anyone who has said, “My life is perfect. Everything is great!” Instead, I have run into people who are not only facing challenges but they feel defeated. Last Sunday after the Super bowl, one team, the Kansas City Chiefs were victorious and they showed it with their arms raised high hugging each other and kissing the Lombardi Trophy. The other team, The San Francisco Forty Niners, was defeated. They showed it by walking off the field with their heads down. Some player may have sat by their lockers and cried. They were not smiling. They were upset. They lost the game!
I have had both moments in my life. I have felt victorious many times. The days my 4 children were born, when I graduated high school in 1982 and especially Bible College in 1986. The days when I received my license to preach in 1993 and also when I was ordained in 1997. I don’t want to dwell on the defeats as much as the victories because quite frankly, the defeats hurt! No one ever brags on Facebook when they fail a test or when they lose a job. It is, however, a part of life. Many of you know my story, especially these last 6 ½ years but like I said I don’t want to dwell on it because it’s the past and it’s time to move on. Lately, I have felt like an airplane getting ready to land. The Aircraft Controller communicates to the pilot and says “You need to go into a holding pattern.” This terminology means the pilot needs to basically circle around in the air until it is time to land his aircraft. I have felt like this in my past year. I’m in a “holding pattern” where I need to wait. Ugh! Waiting is hard.
Before I get to the “holding pattern”, let me share with you a time in my life where I felt as though it was all coming together for me. Let me take you back to 2004. I had been on staff as Smithtown Gospel Tabernacle for 13 years as the children’s pastor. Being on staff at a church you grew up in was a challenge but that particular year things started to come together. My family and I were living in a condo that the church owned and was on the property. It was very tight for all of us being at that point in our lives we had 3 children and 2 bedrooms…on being very tiny. There was no hope of the church buying us a new home so we knew we had to make the best of it. The ministry I had at the church was thriving and I was getting invitations to share at churches, teach seminars as well as help write curriculum. I felt very proud and very blessed. Then we had a nice surprise. The Youth Pastor was leaving for another position in PA which meant the house he lived in would be available. I was not sure how the church board would handle the housing situation. I had been burned once before and was afraid to get my hopes up. But this time it would all come together for us. We were offered the house on Brooksite Drive, a ranch that had 4 bedrooms! The house was vacant for 3 months which meant we could slowly move in. The day after Christmas 2004 we officially moved in! We were all so happy. I do remember in January 2005 standing in my living room and looking around and saying to myself, “Wow! I have finally made it. The church really does appreciate me! Everything is coming together!” We ended up living in that house for 8 ½ years!
As a go forward in my life and ask God questions about “What is next?” and “What are you trying to show me?” I can see that that very feeling I had in 2005 in my living room can’t be my goal. My goal needs to be to love God and please Him with everything I say and do. I also need to love others even when they are nasty to me or extremely unlovable. I also realize one important thing. I will have that same feeling I had in 2005 one day. When I stand before my Lord one day and he says to me “Well done good and faithful servant.” That will be my final “When it all comes together” moment! In the meantime, I will continue to stay in that “holding pattern” and wait to see what God has planned for me!
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